Dealing With Pain

#1: Do your Normal Routine Activities – CONSISTENCY

Just do them no matter how bad you feel, because the next time you doubt your ability to do it because of how bad you feel, you will have that last experience to look at and say, “Wow, never mind, I can definitely do it because I really have done it during a crappy time in my life.”

Then, consistency will improve quickly and your healthy routine will build up even stronger than before…especially for the next time you are under a hard circumstance.

#2: Use Pain as an Opportunity – UTILIZE PAIN

In pain, you see the world and your own self in a much more REAL way then when you are inside your comfortable bubble of a routine.

This means that the ability to LEARN about the world and yourself will come much easier. The only thing necessary is accepting the challenge of facing the pain in order to build that awareness of yourself and the world (for example, during a very painful situation that I am in right now, pain brought out obsessive self-criticism to the forefront of my experience…I say “forefront” because it is something I do in my “not pain” days too…And, it was dragging me down harder than the actual sadness. So, I took the challenge and became more aware of it to try finding a solution. Even if it was screaming at me, “Kevin, you can’t go work out, you are too lonely and sad and will just regret it afterword,” I still faced that pain to figure out what this obsessive self-criticism was all about. This was not just to find resilience in pain; it was also to find ways of replacing the obsessive self-criticism in my daily routine when more-so unconscious).

Seeing the world and your own self in a much more REAL way also means it is much more possible to become INSPIRED…maybe to write a book, a song, a poem, draw, or something creative to connect whole heartedly to this world of reality that just came colliding into your eyes.

So, utilize pain as a learning experience and let it inspire passionate and creative work in your personal or professional life.

#3: Stay True to your Integrity – MAINTAIN + BUILD RESPECT

Sometimes during a painful time where you just feel like absolute SHIT. You do things that you normally wouldn’t do if your conscious mind were attached to the situation.

You may yell at someone who didn’t deserve to be yelled at, you may have sex with a complete stranger and feel even worse about yourself after (or cause hurt in the person you have chosen to spend your romantic and personal life with), or you may stop being healthy (eating way too much, too little, or just unconsciously eating very unhealthy food) because you just don’t see the point anymore.

Basically, you may do things while in pain that help you in losing respect for yourself and your direction in life…and you, most likely, will lose the respect of the people closest to you.


Consistency will be important as it will help gain value FOR OURSELVES, which will create high self-esteem and self-worth. Utilizing pain will be important to develop growth in our character and in overcoming inadequacies in our self and our life…furthering our connection to and love for both as well. Maintaining and building respect in ourselves and with the people closest to us will create confidence in the competence to live life with purpose, so that we can develop meaning and fulfillment in our days here on this earth, whether we are in pain or not.

Maintaining consistency, seeing pain as inevitable so you can accept it and use it as an opportunity, and building respect are three categories that will help us be resilient throughout a painful experience in our life (especially during a very intense one).

Bottom-line…pain is pretty sweet. It feels like absolute SHIT when we are there, but looking back or looking forward at the experience, we have the ability to see it is an incredible opportunity to have an even stronger, more passionate life.

P.S. #5: It is Okay to be Around your Unoccupied Mind – RELAX


This is a beautiful song done by Bear’s Den (whom if you haven’t listen to, they will add some great melodies and beauty to your life). It is called Pompeii and it is about his mom dying. Very sad, but the resilience and melody cause an uplifting momentum similar to the insights I am trying to relay in this post. So, thank you all for reading and enjoy the melody and lyrics.

“Please just don’t cry, hold your head up high. She would want you to, she would want you to.”

About Kevin Carlstead

I graduated as a hospitality and psychology student at University of Denver. I spent most of my teenage and young adult years in the hospitality industry. I am still searching for what industry suits my personality and talents so that I can feel more meaning throughout my days. My current career pursuit has me enrolled in a graduate program to become a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. I was born and raised in San Diego, CA. I love music with something to it. I love life with something to it. I have made it one of my purposes in this life to integrate both of these things that I love. This blog and my own songwriting has given me the platforms to do that very thing. Thank you for reading.
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