My life has shifted into something that is not “the bubble” (as my dad always said as he talked about me transitioning out of college) and I am feeling it even more since my friends, family, and close connections have left my physical surroundings.
When there isn’t a brilliant reality (like this transition in my life) a lot of my time is filled with fear of this feeling and I become rushed to get to the other side where the grass is greener (usually a place of escape from what is truly going in the world-drinking, video games, TV, movies, stimulating activities).
As I try to calmly stay still and involved with every second of my senses, my mind says, “wait, you were scared about something though…Kev, we need to make sure we stay on your A game…figure this out.”
There is nothing to figure out about the fear of this feeling. So, when this moment of dread is surrounding me just patiently sit and look around. Because running and looking for a way out is just running from life. Just like time. We can never out run it.
Instead of running, I need to be patient and embrace life. My mind will thank myself later for slowing down and understanding what it takes to be independent.
I love myself with all of my heart and I will be here for myself forever. I will build a satisfying life through meaningful experiences. And I will do this by knowing that during the tough times I will calmly and patiently observe and learn about it, so there is no need to fret about how it will go, if we’ll die, or whether it will tackle our self-esteem. When I do become still I will be able to utilize the innocence within myself to find the curiosity that builds love and wisdom as I search for beauty and all life has to offer.
…sit and look around you…stop running and looking for a way out…
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I will leave you in what I think is a ode to being honest, authentic, and whatever the consequences are from being the real you…and embracing human we all are:
satisfiedmusic 