FIRST HALF OF SONG –
I first started writing these lyrics when I realized how imaginative and controlling I became with my jealousy towards my ex-girlfriend’s flirtatious ways. After writing the first few lines and going to bed, I had a dream that I was a father to a beautiful daughter. I found out how hard it was dealing with the sex drooling boys out in society stealing her innocence away. However, the way I handled it was a testament to my growth since breaking up with my ex. I began to realize that people need acknowledgment from someone who truly wants to see their perspective…only for the reason that they care deeply about them, their life, and their direction. That is the father I want to be and the friend and the husband and the person as I share my time with others around me.
So, the first part of this song is about the relationship I want to have with my family and friends. The next half is about the example I can be to myself and, also, to the others surrounding me…observing me.
SECOND HALF OF SONG –
The next part about suicide came from my perspective after watching an interview with Kid Cudi as he talked about how he wants to be the role model for kids going through dark times. He said he doesn’t want to see a child take their life. He said that he has been in those dark shoes before and everyone in the rap game is not out to make a real connection for kids to learn from…just superficial talk about money, bitches, and clothes. He wants to change that.
I truly respected this in him.
After, I had the urge to listen to a few of his songs again. I started really digging into the lyrics and realized that they reflect mostly partying, sex, and smoking weed. I see that he uses all of them to distract from the dark thoughts in his mind…to find solace away from the pain. If you are contemplating suicide, he is SHOWING you (maybe not stating…but the example is what we tend to, more-so, follow) that you can fight it.
I brought this into the song because I realized that everyone has dark thoughts and dark times. Which means, my children, friends, and family will need an example of what it takes to respond to these FACTS OF LIFE in the most beneficial way possible. Cudi obviously cares…but he is showing us that distracting will lead to happiness…when really, it just propels the darkness to build under our unconsciousness until it explodes into a demon we just can’t influence anymore.
Life is not about control because, truly, life just doesn’t allow that grip. Life is about learning and loving the experiences that it hands us everyday so that we can grow into a person who is clear about his love for his life and his character. Life is about just that because that is all it allows us control over.
Lyrics (Song at the Bottom):
Too much of a risk, I can’t let you go
To do the things that you want, even if it means you’ll grow
I’m haunted by my fears from all these nightmares of you dreamin’
And having time alone while you aspire to be leaving
To find a party with your friends, follow him to his room
And fallin’ like a trance, trippin’ your whole body like a shroom
Popped in your mouth, as tears are pouring, rolling down your eyes
Your mind not strong enough to open to these lies
From a lover, your friend, these trends and desires
It’s a hole that you are seeking in the pit of all the fires
I’ve been a little bit controlling, so how ‘bout we do this
Let’s sit down, talk until we understand what exists
In amidst of our amiss, that insists to persist, with both our aching hearts that we need to give assist
And sharing our substance, and be open to what’s wrong
Let’s grow beyond the others who don’t care to move along
Your lost in the games, your lost in the woods
But who you have is a father that will be good
In the midst of your troubles, in the midst of your lies
I hope they’ll be a time when you open up your mind
To this love we can have, to this love we can share
Experience this life, as it is hear to be cared
I take this time
To show you peace of mind
Now when you care
I’m by your side, I’m there
Now when your contemplating suicide, I hope you cry
‘Cause not a lot of things will open up your choice to die
Let’s say you take a little lesson from the Cudi mind
Because he cares he never wants to see a youngen take their life
But now he’s showing how to handle feelings dark in mind
By raging at the party cut the focus, move from time
Booze and weed are a cloud…not one thought will start.
Life revolves around…come back to stab our heart.
You take your mind away
(the feeling starts to)
The feeling starts to fade
Miss the chance to
Grow inside your head, next time you’ll fall further down the cliff of pain