It’s Still Going To Be Me

Every step of the way

It’s still going to be me

Moving to a new town

It’s still going to be me

Having a child

It’s still going to be me

Getting a new car

It’s still going to be me

Getting a promotion

It’s still going to be me

Drugs or sex

It’s still going to be me

When I make a speech

It’s still going to be me

It doesn’t matter what I do in my life

If I don’t grow in my mind,

then I will be the same ordinary, neurotic, emotionally driven person my entire life.

If I don’t grow inside…then I will just be an image.

A job, a wife, kids, speaking to others of my untouched events that are stories to them but not experiences to me.

If I don’t grow starting now, then I’m dead.

It doesn’t matter what I do in my life

It matters if I grow thru my experiences.

Because…it’s still going to be my mind in every situation…even if the image looks like I am cooler…the experience inside will be empty…my life will be empty…my image will deflate before the lonely insecurities that build up inside of me as I fill my external environment with distraction until the day I die realizing I have nothing to show for my span of life that closes on this day.

Learn To Be Still by The Eagles

“How do I get out of here
Where do I fit in?
Though the world is torn and shaken
Even if your heart is breakin’

It’s waiting for you to awaken…and someday you will…learn to be still”

Long Nights by Eddie Vedder

“I’ll take this soul 
That’s inside me now
Like a brand new friend
I’ll forever know

I will always be 
Better than before”

About Kevin Carlstead

I graduated as a hospitality and psychology student at University of Denver. I spent most of my teenage and young adult years in the hospitality industry. I am still searching for what industry suits my personality and talents so that I can feel more meaning throughout my days. My current career pursuit has me enrolled in a graduate program to become a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. I was born and raised in San Diego, CA. I love music with something to it. I love life with something to it. I have made it one of my purposes in this life to integrate both of these things that I love. This blog and my own songwriting has given me the platforms to do that very thing. Thank you for reading.
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