There is always a transition happening in front of us. Whether it be:
- Needing to pee, so we stop what we are doing and go to the bathroom
- A friend’s death, so we stop our routine to mourn in the depths of our emotional response
- Changing careers, so we uproot our stable abode
Some transitions may be more significant than others, but the minutes are teeming with consecutive alterations of our original plan for the day.
Life has shown me that I am always a student…and this comes from the understanding that:
If I am not willing to learn at every step, then the transition…the experience…will just pass me by.
It will pass by…regardless of my grip…or my shove…to push it away…to keep it around.
The consequence of change stubbornly passing through time is that the next transition in my life hits me even harder. Harder, because I see everything I learned last time, yet I did nothing to change or grow during the space between. I fall in the same traps, but this time I am crowded with anticipation in knowing my demise.
Here is where it hits home:
During these major or minor transitions, I show my REAL self…my TRUE character…the person that I live with every single day in (what I thought was) my invisible mind. Here…in this exact moment…are the split seconds where there is absolutely no hiding place, no image that masks my truth, and no material that covers my pain.
In these flashes, I may learn that:
- I only care about how I feel to the point of long-term destruction.
- I stay calm, breathe, and see what room there is to grow for the next time this situation, or a similar one, rolls around.
Regardless of my choice through the transition, every second contains the potential to open up, learn, and grow until I find out who I am and what influence I can shed in this world around me.
I see there is no benefit to rolling away from the realities in front of me. And, I do see the benefit of rolling down in the depths of the truth and moving with it. This is because rolling away from reality may mask the pain, but will come back and punch me until the bruises come to the surface. Rolling down in the depths of truth will create a person that is resilient in the face of pain as I develop a perpetual wisdom that enters into the never-ending choices influencing my direction towards my life’s dreams and potentials.
This is a new song of mine and a live recording that I did just for this post. Joy Polimeni accompanies me with vocals.
Roll by Kevin Carlstead (lyrics below video):
Her smile is shining
Tears roll down my cheek
The memories are screaming
Bring her back to me
As we fear the pain
I try’n listen slowly
‘Cause life keeps pushing me
I cannot see so clearly
Cut till the pain bleeds
As we fear the pain
We fail ourselves
Don’t stay the same
Sink deep within
I found her deep within me
I’m scared, I won’t be breathing
I’m taking it slow
Allow the pain
Fall on the knife
As we face the pain
We face ourselves