Out of the Cold (Who am I?)

Beauty amongst the drought

Beauty amongst the drought

Fitting in has never made me happy…just more confused about what it is that will make me happy.


  • Knowing who I am right now
  • Having a clear definition of the person I want to become when no one is around
  • Only moving towards that person when I have reflected on conscious reasons to do s0

That openness. That vulnerability. That stillness in reflection. That clarity. That sense of self. That love, respect, and meaning.

That is what will make me happy.

…knowing what will actually make me happy…and knowing it may change…keeping it an open-ended conversation…never setting a barrier with a conclusion that my learning is over…

That is what will make my life a journey…a thrashing river among the drought.


Yet, among the stimulation, the overwhelming emotions, the irrational speed of this society, I suffocate from emptiness.


What keeps me alive? Ready for tomorrow? Knowing that the more I patiently listen, the stronger, more courageous, and self-affirming I become.

The more I experience this reflection…this pause…then the more desire comes through my actions to spend my time consciously.


About Kevin Carlstead

I graduated as a hospitality and psychology student at University of Denver. I spent most of my teenage and young adult years in the hospitality industry. I am still searching for what industry suits my personality and talents so that I can feel more meaning throughout my days. My current career pursuit has me enrolled in a graduate program to become a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. I was born and raised in San Diego, CA. I love music with something to it. I love life with something to it. I have made it one of my purposes in this life to integrate both of these things that I love. This blog and my own songwriting has given me the platforms to do that very thing. Thank you for reading.
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