My Friends Are So Depressed

I want to have children of my own so that I can teach a human being how to learn from the day they open their eyes. My son or daughter will be whomever they choose. I will only help them to see themselves, others, the world, and the decisions they make clearly. They will know reality and make their own choice within it.

I don’t need to pass down my name to the future history books. I don’t need to pass down my advice. I don’t need them to know who is the king. There will be no ego involved in this reproduction. I want to see how much meaning a human being can create further than where I will ever go with my fulfillment in my life. I want to see a true bond created from an open, vulnerable, and unconditionally committed place.

family woods

Building a family with this goal is a much easier task. They have yet to see the enticing beliefs like short-term impulsive pleasure that is sought religiously in our culture. I have tried to create this open environment in my social and professional life. However, this has been a very difficult task.

My most prominent example is my blogs. I have very few people I have impacted. The ones that I have impacted, I have not spent considerable amounts of time with to create a warm environment to grow together.

However, I have successfully done this with my fiancé. We have created a space that I have dreamt about for years now. A space to be vulnerable, fail, succeed, learn, grow, change, and support all of these character building activities along the journey for each other. The reason I asked her to marry me was because of the openness, vulnerability, and willingness to grow that was instilled in her actions and character when we first met and, of course, still to this day.

At first our internal values were attractive to one another. Then, that attractiveness turned into massive amounts of learning and caring about one another. And now, we have found an imperfect place for us to learn, grow, and openly think and feel independently together. It is incredible.


Learning and exploring are the most important and meaning-filled purposes I have in my life. I want to build a family around this purpose so they can see the beauty, the bond, and the love that can be so strongly welded from this effort and energy.


Here we are. In reality. In nature. I am ready to survive, take in life through my senses, and work for congruence and clarity in my mind and emotions.


And, to Anthony Kiedis, the poet:

“So hard and lonely, too
When you don’t know yourself”

About Kevin Carlstead

I graduated as a hospitality and psychology student at University of Denver. I spent most of my teenage and young adult years in the hospitality industry. I am still searching for what industry suits my personality and talents so that I can feel more meaning throughout my days. My current career pursuit has me enrolled in a graduate program to become a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. I was born and raised in San Diego, CA. I love music with something to it. I love life with something to it. I have made it one of my purposes in this life to integrate both of these things that I love. This blog and my own songwriting has given me the platforms to do that very thing. Thank you for reading.
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