Brewing the Storm

Storm

When the stress flies thru my doors and confusion and complexities pile up from being overwhelmed with my focus, the hesitation then anxiety and finally anticipating paranoia comes rushing in.

All I want. Is for my mind to relax. Is for my mind to be clear.

Ahhhh. It hurts. It’s burning. I hate this anxiety. This panic. This fear. This anticipation.

All I need. Is for my mind to find context. Is for my mind to focus on the most pressing reality. Is for my mind to accept and understand this reality from each vantage point.

What was the last thing that really set me off? Let’s trace it back.
To all of my friends with anxiety (and even depression), I suffered for so long with these mental and emotional drawbacks. It took time to find my ground.

Opportunity

The stress still hits confusion and the confusion still hits panic. The positive about this now is that it is my super power. All it is telling me is “hey. hey Kev. focus. there is something pressing and it needs your time and care.”

This energy helps me to grow. Before it turns into an insane, irrational pattern of crippling panic attacks leading to depression…before it even turns into any fear or opposing force scrambling my mind and relaxed consciousness, I utilize the energy to grow and live right here in this sometimes overwhelming reality. This beautiful, waterfall of facts that constantly find its way into our opportunity…into our potential…into our consciousness of this life around us.

life

A song from my EP I wrote in 2012:

“Valium is good but addiction is crazed, so I throw em to my friends to get these pills away, I’ll be alone today, so I can face this…”

About Kevin Carlstead

I graduated as a hospitality and psychology student at University of Denver. I spent most of my teenage and young adult years in the hospitality industry. I am still searching for what industry suits my personality and talents so that I can feel more meaning throughout my days. My current career pursuit has me enrolled in a graduate program to become a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. I was born and raised in San Diego, CA. I love music with something to it. I love life with something to it. I have made it one of my purposes in this life to integrate both of these things that I love. This blog and my own songwriting has given me the platforms to do that very thing. Thank you for reading.
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