Are You Feeling Small?

FAKE

Interview skills.  Fashion. Big words. Excuses. Resumes. Being politically correct.

The man-made mirage of our forced image covers ourselves and confuses our trust when observing reality. What is real? Are you lying?

Nature doesn’t lie. Why do we?

Ego.

ego.jpg

Every human has a sense of self-importance. We want to feel special and compete for this standing with the rest of our human race.

If we do not keep our ego in check, than it will inflate to thinking we are larger and more powerful than the immense universe that strips away our tiny, unimportant existence at any fragile, vulnerable moment. And yet, we get defensive if you tarnish our image. We tenaciously fight for our pride. This does not seem to make sense to me…something that I do so frequently really does not make sense to me. It is concerning, neurotic, and depressing that we, as humans, have not learned and grown from this handicap that causes wars, deceit, and a whole heap of unnecessary pain. It is the root cause of the tension and the crumbling in the emotional bond of a relationship.

How does it feel being around aggressive attitudes? Or even passive aggressive attitudes? Uncomfortable? Do you just want to hide in your shell when someone takes it personally? I know I do.

neurotic human

Now, withdraw the ego, Kevin. Who am I? How does it feel to be around this person.

What if I just took away this thought…this feeling that I am so special…that I am so much more important than the rest of the world. Maybe even respond to life, others, and myself by saying, “I choose to take almost nothing personally because the strength from being openly patient, the value from vulnerably growing, and the warmth from seeking substance over image is a more meaningful path.”

I choose to not be defensive, to not take another’s assaults personally, and to be flexible and move with life’s natural, powerful flow of facts.

moving life

If someone has intent to harm me because of their personality, then I will move my family and I away from harms way…but as a choice…not a judgement, a threat, or out of aggression.

If someone “embarrasses me in public,” I will remind myself of the growth opportunity to learn with my mistakes, laugh, and move towards reality once again.

organize

This choice is a hypothesis. Every post I write is a hypothesis.

Every choice I make is a hypothesis. It could take me in an opposite direction from my life’s goals. But, mistakes are there to help me learn, grow, and live freely.

hypothesis

So, deflating my ego is a hypothesis from a lot of experienced testing thus far. And, I hope to be on my way to closer defining a meaningful, warm, and fulfilled life with it…and, of course, closer to a more humble and not so scary individual…ridding the stigma of the “always taking it personally” human inside.

Here we go. The world does not care if I do this or not. But, I do.

larger than life

The Swell Season is a brilliant duo with Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova. A song very fitting for this post 🙂 Enjoy!

About Kevin Carlstead

I graduated as a hospitality and psychology student at University of Denver. I spent most of my teenage and young adult years in the hospitality industry. I am still searching for what industry suits my personality and talents so that I can feel more meaning throughout my days. My current career pursuit has me enrolled in a graduate program to become a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. I was born and raised in San Diego, CA. I love music with something to it. I love life with something to it. I have made it one of my purposes in this life to integrate both of these things that I love. This blog and my own songwriting has given me the platforms to do that very thing. Thank you for reading.
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