Being Warm = staying humble, empathizing, and nurturing.

Nurturing = helping someone gather their own resources and meet their own needs by attempting to see from their perspective, asking questions, and listening to them…kind of resembling a backboard for a sweet lay-up.

It is tough to be warm when I am not present…when I am stuck and trying to respond to negative mindsets. It is also tough to be warm when I am only trying to be present with my own mind, body, and life…leaving you out of it.

For instance, I see the crazy amount of Trump signs and it makes me want to hate. Hate them. For hating. And yet, it is so obvious how hypocritical it is to hate because of hate. How selfish the emotion…how counterintuitive.

Systemically speaking, hate is usually not to be blamed completely on the individual all alone. Environments foster hate. But, once the resources needed are given, searched for, or fought for, our responses can change. We can now not feel the need to hate. We can now realize how hating is wasting so much of our limited time.

Individually speaking, those who support Trump have information they have gathered to this point in supporting their belief in Trump as the best option for president. Hypothetically, let’s say I interviewed hundreds of Trump supporters and most of the information they held about the social & political world was based in fear…and their response to this fear was to hold strong with Trump.

I have been stricken by fear many, many times before…and, I still find myself there from time to time. I know the types of choices I can make when surrounded by the loud screaming that fear can produce inside my own head. So…I walk with them. And, I ask them: where is this fear coming from? Is it true? Can we verify it?

If this fear is a real thing, can we face it together? If we can’t find the veracity, can we let it go? If we let it go, can we move to more pressing matters now that we have more clarity, calm, and free time?

I have these feelings that tell me to just reserve my warmth for people that deserve it. But, that is not the point of warmth. Warmth is to be spread to everyone because it is a necessary step of connection. Of being human beings…together.

If I cannot connect…if we cannot connect…then we just keep feeding this negative cycle that we see all over society: objectification, criticizing, manipulation, and not seeing one another from each of our particular perspectives and contexts.

About Kevin Carlstead

I graduated as a hospitality and psychology student at University of Denver. I spent most of my teenage and young adult years in the hospitality industry. I am still searching for what industry suits my personality and talents so that I can feel more meaning throughout my days. My current career pursuit has me enrolled in a graduate program to become a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. I was born and raised in San Diego, CA. I love music with something to it. I love life with something to it. I have made it one of my purposes in this life to integrate both of these things that I love. This blog and my own songwriting has given me the platforms to do that very thing. Thank you for reading.
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2 Responses to Warmth

  1. Pingback: A Series of Journeys | satisfiedmusic

  2. Eugenie Carlstead says:

    This is so true. It is so reassuring to hear a humane voice who is obviously seeing what is common in all of us and suggest that we might heal together. As individuals, we need human connection and we need to help uplift each other. Maybe we could all identify more with our humanity than our ideologies. Thank you for sharing your honesty and warmth.

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