Abandoning Myself

Not only do I abandon myself when alone…as I attempt to find distractions from my unwanted thoughts and feelings.

It happens when others are around too.

I will find the deepest and most connected friendships when I don’t have to abandon myself to gain your acceptance…when I don’t need to leave a part of me at your door step for the opportunity to hang out with you.

All of me.

Marketing, advertising, and insecure individuals may try to sell me on the idea that pain or imperfection can be fixed. But, I know…now…that those aspects of myself and life are necessary.

All of my feelings and thoughts need to be processed to become a healthy, calm, and present person.

So, I (with my consciousness) will sit with all of me and be here with warmth and a loving quiet, calm, and attentive care. No matter how scared I am.

A true friend would not leave me alone when I need them the most…nor will I.

And with much practice, I will shed the unaltered moment of its daunting anticipation.

About Kevin Carlstead

I graduated as a hospitality and psychology student at University of Denver. I spent most of my teenage and young adult years in the hospitality industry. I am still searching for what industry suits my personality and talents so that I can feel more meaning throughout my days. My current career pursuit has me enrolled in a graduate program to become a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. I was born and raised in San Diego, CA. I love music with something to it. I love life with something to it. I have made it one of my purposes in this life to integrate both of these things that I love. This blog and my own songwriting has given me the platforms to do that very thing. Thank you for reading.
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5 Responses to Abandoning Myself

  1. Eugenie Carlstead says:

    This is beautiful Kevin. You are beautiful, with your magnificent sensitivity, courage, and insights. Thank you for sharing–YOU.
    Eugenie

  2. calmkate says:

    so right, we need to embrace us all … the good bad and ugly! It’s who we are 🙂

    Nice to meet you 🙂

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