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Kevin’s Most Recent Posts
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- Abandoning Myself January 6, 2021
Tag Archives: death
Response Struggle
We respond to our fear of failure and vulnerability, our fear of death, our fear of emptiness with ideas of IMAGE and POWER and ENTERTAIN AWAY FROM THE FACTS OF LIFE. There are other ways to respond to this scary adventure here on earth. Breathe and read what I have learned here in this blog post. Continue reading
Posted in Control is an Illusion
Tagged alone, anxiety, beauty, black and white, black or white, bob dylan, breathe, change, character, chess, contradicting, contradiction, control, curiosity, curious, death, deny reality, depth, direction, distraction, distractions, education, ego, empty, equitable, facade, fake, fear, fight fire with fire, fragile, freedom, gray, honesty, humble, illusion, innocence, integrity, journey, kevin carlstead, learn, lonely human, Love, lyrics, maggie's farm, manipulate, manipulation, mask, no rewind, noble, open, oppression, pawns, Perfection, plastic, power, present moment, purpose, relax, responsibility, still, struggle, understanding, vulnerability, vulnerable, wasted time, we are small
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The Student
There is always a transition happening in front of us. Whether it be: Needing to pee, so we stop what we are doing and go to the bathroom A friend’s death, so we stop our routine to mourn in the … Continue reading
Posted in Learning From Pain
Tagged alone, anticipation, autobiography of control, Carlstead, character, control, death, demo, depth, dreams, feel, grip, grow, invisible mind, joy polimeni, Kevin, learn, life, live, Love, mask, new song, pain, pass me by, potentials, Real, reality, roll, roll away, roll down, roll out, time, transition, true, truth
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In Response to “Fault in our Stars”
I like to listen to this from the Fault in our Stars soundtrack while I read these words: Among the pains transitions and realities all filling up our perspective…we try…we try our hardest to keep the beauty in sight…to keep … Continue reading
Posted in Learning From Pain
Tagged beauty, care, death, Fault in our stars, happy, life, look around, Love, pain, reality, transition, understand
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It’s Still Going To Be Me
Every step of the way It’s still going to be me Moving to a new town It’s still going to be me Having a child It’s still going to be me Getting a new car It’s still going to be … Continue reading
Posted in Image
Tagged alone, death, eddie vedder, growth, into the wild, life, lonely, long nights, Meaning, mental health, our mind is always alone
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Life is about Transitions
Whether it be Moving away from your comfort zone to live completely on your own for the first time A break up or family member passing to feel the loss of someone so important Someone who treats you unfairly to … Continue reading
Posted in Learning From Pain
Tagged accept, acceptance, Carlstead, change, comfort zone, death, empty, Facts, fantasy, feelings, grow, Kevin, learn, life, loss, pay attention, question, ray lamontagne, reality, satisfied, Slow Down, student, transition, truth, wants, you only live once
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Popping the Bubble
My life has shifted into something that is not “the bubble” (as my dad always said as he talked about me transitioning out of college) and I am feeling it even more since my friends, family, and close connections have … Continue reading
Posted in Learning From Pain
Tagged bear's den, calm, death, distraction, embace, hiding, life, Meaning, mind, patience, patient, reality, running, sahara, still, without/within
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Reason
in being innocent we respond to being alive by trying to understand what is true and provide what is needed, and we never manipulate for advantage or control; primarily because we observe that both advantage and control are illusions, and do not exist in the reality of being a mortal human being
-Paul Hatherley
I roll around in circles ’cause I never learned to think.
So, I go to films and packs of friends, which push me into sync
With the world of cool that maps it out (the plan for everyday)
Until I lay in death to rest or earth just falls into decay.
We humans have amazing powers and one of which is reason.
We could satisfy our every need, so we’re aware of seasons.
But, this “task” is way too hard to begin to think it all through.
So instead of curing pain with conscious thought, here’s what we do
We try to cure the void of love with TV for distraction.
We watch our show and look at life if it were set and crafted.
We try our best to copy scripts and follow plans exactly
But, then manipulate the “love” we want while forming all the actors.
Now, life has turned into a “thing” which we know we can’t do
From the fact that life is changing and its telling us to move.
If we think for just one hour with no noise in our room
Not one person, or a phone that would interject through
This waking moment with ourselves, inside our thoughts and our feelings.
Maybe we will see the point I’m making is really for a reason.
Its the truth and our lives are not much happier this way
When we distract and fill our time with all these veggie filled days.
So, as I roll in these circles ’cause I never learned to think
I am learning.
And now I am finding all these little links.
With our reason, I am learning of myself and my dreams.
In every season, I’m learning different ways in which life speaks.
Life is an experience to be loved, lived, and learned
Not an object…to be controlled, crashed, and burned
Posted in Control is an Illusion
Tagged control, death, distraction, experience, human, innocence, life, manipulate, mortal, paul hatherley, reality, reason, truth
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Mental Addiction
From grade 8 at 15 years old, peaking sophomore year in high school at 17 years old, and slowly dwindling off and on till freshman year in college, I was a stoner: big hair, half-ass development in anything I tried, … Continue reading
Posted in Control is an Illusion
Tagged death, drugs, feeling oriented, jim james, kevin carlstead, life-span, Mental addiction, my morning jacket, Outta My System, stoner, weed
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